Elvis Has Left The Building…

I  apologize for being a bad blogger.  A lot has been going on between the teenager-from-hell and my Mom who has turned into Widowzilla, I’m still trying to process my Dad’s death.  I’m trying not to think about Father’s Day this coming weekend.

But you don’t want to hear about whoaisme, and I don’t want to go there either so I will leave you with this escapade.

As I mentioned in an earlier post a brazen hussy of a squirrel was coming up from the basement and eating the kitty food.  This brazen hussy of a squirrel didn’t care one bit that I was sitting right at the kitchen table at the time either.

You will also remember that my weeny cats were afraid of this squirrel, so what is a homeowner to do?  Trap it…  So feeling in a good mood I went to the local hardware store and picked up a Havaheart trap – Squirrel Size for $39.  Rat traps would have been cheaper, but I couldn’t deal with the ewwwie factor.   I took the trap home and found that putting it together was like folding complicated origami – we eventually figured it out, got it baited with peanut butter… nothing happened.  So the next day we baited it with cat food – squirrel liked that just fine.   He even managed to clean out every single piece from inside the trap.  For some reason the trap mechanism on the new trap is a bit tight, as in the squirrel would have had to have been at least 30 lbs to trip it.  But at the rate he was cleaning out the cat food bowl it was only a matter of time.

We tried all kinds of things for several days,  Finally I borrowed an older trap that had a looser mechanism. Actually it had a hair trigger, and it took some time to get it loaded and set.  But within 5 minutes WHAM!

Scared the heck out of me and the cats who went running upstairs to hide under the beds.  Big Weenies!

So I did as the directions stated – approached the cage quietly and slowly,  but the damn thing still lunged at me.  I finally managed to pick up the cage and tossed a sweatshirt over it.  I ran out the car with it and stuck it in the back seat.  The squirrel was freaking, I was freaking – the cats were freaked.

So now what do I do with it?  I jump in the car and start to drive,  all the time the squirrel is obviously panicking as I am.  So I quick call the first friend in my cellphone list Alicia…  she doesn’t answer but I leave her a message on her voice mail and head to her house which is about 3 miles from my house.  I figure that is far enough away to dump the squirrel.  All the time I am praying that someone is home.

As I pull into her driveway, she and her daughter are waiting for me and laughing their butts off.  Apparently my voice mail message was hysterically funny.

So we get the cage out of the car and Alicia managed to get the cage open.  The squirrel shot out the cage and headed straight for the woods.

I thanked them profusely and returned home for a Margarita and a nap.


Obligatory knitting update – I am working on knitting some silk scarves to add to the etsy shop.  Stay tuned.


5 responses to “Elvis Has Left The Building…

  1. Ha! You didn’t mention that about the problems with the new trap. LOL! I would’ve been laughing too if I were them 🙂 I sure hope Le Squirrel is having a ball in her new home!

  2. That is hilarious! I have bunnies that I want to do the same thing to (in my yard, not my house) except I plan on driving much further maybe maine or something 🙂

  3. I’m sorry to hear your mom is being difficult :/ Trapping the squirrel though is an awesome story, too funny!

  4. Oh, I wish you had made a Utube video of this whole caper! I laughed my butt off just reading about it.

    I hope 3 miles is far enough, or that you at least scared the squirrel enough that the lure of cat food isn’t strong enough for him to return.

  5. So is the squirrel back yet?

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